Bullying can happen to anyone, anywhere at any time. Regardless of how minor or serious it is, bullying is not acceptable and must not be tolerated. The effects of bullying include low mood, anxiety, self-harm and other mental health problems. That is why each year we have Anti-Bullying Week to educate ourselves and others and raise awareness of what we can do to prevent bullying.
This article will discuss what you can do to stop bullying, what to do if you are being bullied or if you yourself have been bullying someone.
What is bullying?
Bullying can take many forms including:
- Name calling or teasing
- Spreading rumours
- Pushing or shoving
- Sending or posting nasty, hurtful or inappropriate messages online (this is also called cyberbullying)
- Threatening someone
- Stealing or damaging someone’s belongings
What are the signs of bullying?
- Loss of confidence or showing signs of nerves/anxiety/stress
- Avoiding certain people or places
- Not wanting to go to school or to other events
- Missing or damaged belongings
- Performing poorly at school
- Unexplained injuries
- Difficulty sleeping or eating
- Low mood
If you are being bullied
- Tell someone. There are lots of people you can talk to – a parent, teacher, family member, friend, sibling or another trusted adult. More on this later.
- Delete any hurtful messages. Delete any nasty or inappropriate messages that the bully has sent you online. Do not respond and block their number/account. You could also report them to the social media site.
- Do not retaliate. Simply ignore the bully and walk away from them. In some cases, the bully will see that you are not going to react to them or that you are not bothered so will eventually get bored.
- Keep away from the bully. Avoid places you know the bully is likely to hang around. However, do not skip school or stop attending activities to avoid the bully.
Talking to someone about being bullied
Telling an adult that you are being bullied means that they will be able to offer you advice and support about what you can do. They may be able to deal with the bully themselves. If you talk to one of your teachers at school, by law they must follow the school’s anti-bullying policy.
Talking to someone about being bullied is not easy but it will help the bullying to stop. The bully will be dealt with and measures to stop it from happening again can be put in place. For example, if you go to the same school as the bully the teachers can put things in place to prevent the bully from bothering you again.
Do not worry about being seen to be telling tales, grassing or dobbing someone in. Talking to someone is the right thing to do. Remember, the bully is the one in the wrong and must be stopped!
If you see someone being bullied
Even if you are not being bullied you can still do something to help others who are.
- Do not join in. Never join in with the bullying, laugh about it or help spread any rumours.
- Offer help. Ask the person if they are ok and if they need any help. You could offer to tell someone on their behalf or accompany them whilst they talk to someone about it.
- Tell someone. You should talk to someone about what you have seen and why it has worried you. If the bullying is happening at school this could be a teacher or senior pupil.
- Stand up to bullying. Get together with friends and educate yourselves and other people about the impact of bullying. Together you can let bullies know that their actions are wrong. Hopefully, this will help people think twice about their actions.
If you have been bullying someone
- Ask yourself why you have been bullying someone. No one bullies for no reason. Perhaps you thought you were being cool or funny, you were trying to fit in or you have been bullied in the past?
- Look at things from the victim’s perspective. Think about how they must have felt and the hurt caused to them, their family and their friends. How would you like it if someone treated you like that?
- Understand that there may be consequences. If you have been bullying someone there are likely to be consequences depending on the seriousness of your actions. This could be disciplinary action, suspension or even exclusion from school and in the most serious cases police involvement.
- Take steps to change your behaviour. Think about what you can do to change. It can help to talk to someone about this and get advice. You could also seek professional help. There are lots of anti-bullying organisations, charities or websites that could help you.
- Apologise and make amends. You should apologise to anyone you have hurt and acknowledge how your actions have affected them. Show them that you are genuinely sorry and that you understand your actions were wrong. Keep in mind that they may not wish to speak to you for a while and respect their wishes. Given time, some people may gradually be able to become friends with you or at least be civil. However, others may feel that any chance of being friends is damaged.
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